Saturday, August 15, 2009

Mr. Dave Is No Longer a Big Mac Virgin

It occurred to me the other day that I have never in my life eaten a McDonald's Big Mac. I just found it sort of strange that something as iconic as the Big Mac has escaped my ravenous jaws. I guess as a child (unfortuneatly, this is when the lion's share of my fast food consumption occurred) I had problems with pickles, lettuce, and anything even vaguely resembling mayonnaise. These finicky child's phobias kept me on a pretty standard regimen of McNuggets. So yesterday I called up goodwife Mrs. Dave and said, "Honey, grab me up a Big Mac on your way home." Saying this made me feel a little dirty. A short while later my prize arrived.

I ain't gonna' lie. It looked kind of good. I was surprised at the height of the thing and a tart aroma of pickles and beef assaulted my nostrils. Upon picking up the Mac, I was surprised at how weightless it felt. The visual size seemed to imply a weightier burger. I took an absolutely giant bite, chewed, and ruminated. The first thing that struck me was how salty it was. I am afraid to look at the nutritional information on the Big Mac, but I am sure there is some ungodly amount of sodium in the thing. The other dominate flavor I tasted was the pickles, which is good, I like pickles. I only got a hint of the Thousand Island dressing-esque flavor of the Big Mac sauce. The beef was almost a non factor in my estimation. It was kind of like eating a giant, bready, pickle, cheese and lettuce sandwich.

For all the fuss our American culture makes about the storied Big Mac, I had expected some sort of near religious experience (not really, I kind of figured it would suck). But really, I would take a standard MacDonald's cheeseburger over the Mac. I find their classic cheeseburger to be well balanced, with a perfect meat to bun to pickles to onions to ketchup to mustard (included in my neck of the woods) ratio. It is kind of like meat candy, a treat to be savored on occasion. I am happy that now I don't have to be curious anymore and am fairly confident that I won't suffer from any future Big Mac attacks.

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