Thursday, February 24, 2011

My Fascination With Gas Station Hot Dog Roller Cuisine Continues

As you may or may not know, I have something of a fascination with Gas Station cuisine. In particular, I am endlessly amused by all of the strange and horrible creations that you may find lurking on top of the ol' hot dog roller. Our travelling tummies can not be satisfied by mere frankfurters anymore! We need to see taquitos, or bratwursts, or weird bastard Cheese Burger Tubes(click for my review), endlessly rolling away waiting to be swaddled in a bun and devoured.

I was at the Hess station on Deleware Ave. the other day when I happened to spy something named "Cheesy Buffalo Ranch Chicken" nestled in front of the Ranchero Steak Taquitos on the roller. I did not try to fight the inevitable, I knew that I would purchase and endure the gut punishing after effects. All for my readers, and for Science! Here it is on the bun.

The odd little chicken tube kind of looked like a giant, hot dog shaped chicken nugget. It emitted a vaguely vinegar stink although the surface was dry, i.e. not slathered with some sort of Buffalo wing sauce. Taking a bite, as usual with this sort of product, I was put off by the oddly spongy texture of the obviously mechanically separated and formed chicken sludge. For some reason I expected some sort of wet filling, either cheese or buffalo sauce. But it was pretty much just spongy breaded chicken loaf.

The name of this thing (Cheesy Buffalo Ranch Chicken) is fairly misleading. I detected no cheese, no ranch, and very little chicken flavor. The overwhelming flavor profile was vaguely spicy vinegar, so I guess I will give them their misguided attempt at "Buffalo" flavor. The thing tasted like a chicken nugget that had been doused with raw white vinegar and then sprinkled with a hint of cayenne pepper. Not my bag, but I am sure there are those out there that may enjoy it.

Anyhow, I am sure there are countless tubular meat forms rolling in a warm metal embrace out there waiting to be consumed by Mr. Dave. Future reviews are surely forthcoming.


  1. ooh! the fancy schmancy Hess :-)

  2. Nice to see there are other people that love gas station food also :)


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