Wednesday, June 22, 2011

A Gallery of Stewart's Signage

If there ever has ever been an institution that more thoroughly exemplifies all that is good and weird about Upstate America (I have stolen this term from CapCon, I think), then it is Stewart's Shops. I just threw together a few pictures of signs that I have spied in the past couple of years. Why? Because they make me laugh because they are so humorous in that earnest, honest and unintended way that only Stewart's can pull off.

I had to resist the urge to ask a maroon clad Sultan of Shakes or Duke of Deli dogs to moo for me. That might have been a bit rude.

So stop your bitchin'!

Fresh and ready! With the freshest, weird, circle bacon that money can buy!

Notice that you can store your milk card right next to the condoms.

"75% larger than McDonald's." They called in fish sandwich experts from NASA to do the calculations. By the way, I was once contacted by Stewart's in regards to testing their new fishy delight. I politely declined, and by politely declined I mean that I didn't answer the emails.

"Fixin's"? There should be no apostrophe, but I forgive them their grammar. I picture eating hot dogs with a guy named Fixin.

Booyah other brands of milk! You can suck it.

Every shopette should have a magical, ever-growing water snake named Kyle.

I was actually impressed with this coup. Other ice cream brands, you can suck it too!

Anyhow, go to Stewart's and basque in all of the maroon glory and buy some deli dogs. It is good for the soul.


  1. Is Fixin' not slang for Fixing, rendering the apostrophe necessary in this case?

  2. See what I did there? (left out the you're for more apostrophe oriented fun)

  3. 2 Deli dogs with cajun relish and a vanilla shake is probably the best $4 lunch I've ever had.

    It is where I came up with my fantastic idea for a restaurant that serves only extremely spicy foods and awesome double thick milkshakes.


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