Friday, August 19, 2011

Oatmeal Machine, Part 2

So if you read yesterday's post, you will know that I encountered an Oatmeal Machine and vowed to sample its excreta. This morning I made good on my promise.

I was thoroughly disappointed by the "Oatmeal Station's" process and product. I kind of expected the apparatus to dispense a stream of thick, steamy, and fully formed oatmeal. However, when you press the button the thing starts wheezing out a meager looking putter of dried oatmeal powder parallel to a stream of hot water. So in effect, the only step in the instant oatmeal process that this dispenser removes is the ripping open of the packet and pouring it into the cup. Other than that it is really just a big hot water dispenser. The ratio of hot water to desiccated oatmeal dust was way off as well, I ended up with a very sweet oatmeal soup of sorts. I chose "maple" flavor so the taste was of the expected over-sweet, Aunt Jemima syrup variety.

Slightly amusing was the weird oatmeal "toppings bar." There were canisters of granola, brown sugar, raisins, and cinnamon available for the sprinkling. I kind of want to meet the marketing guy who had the idea of creating some sort of pseudo-ice cream sundae experience out of humble oatmeal. It is just all around strange. I don't even recommend giving this stuff a shot for the novelty factor, it is just plain lame. Oatmeal machine, you are a disappointment.


A gentleman from twitter (iowntheskies) did some gas station covert ops on my behalf and got a picture of the guts of an Oatmeal Station. Huzzah for iowntheskies!

Vote for Kyle Kotary


  1. Dear Mr. Dave,

    Thank you for saving me from myself. The Hess station on Canandaigua Lake also hosts this marvel of baglessness and I was, for a brief and shining moment, tempted.

  2. man, that is too bad because this could be, like, an Oatmeal Revolution if it was done well! why not pre-cook batches of irish oats (since the longer they cook the better, imho) unsweetened, then offer toppings such as nuts, dried and/or fresh fruit, jam, milk and cream, brown sugar, and maple syrup? so easy, so much tastier, and probably better for you in the end.


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