Monday, October 17, 2011

White Castle Breakfast is Best Breakfast

Yesterday I tantalized you with words about White Castle breakfast, today I bring you photo-documentation. Now I don't care what anyone says, White Castle is good. There are no bones about it, I don't want to hear any, "I don't eat fast food" or, "that's grade F beef" business. I call bullshit. You like White Castle and you know it. Perhaps you lie about it to affect a sophisticated air, but you devour wee sliders alone in greasy shame whenever you get the chance. Why? Because they are unctuous, flavorful, satisfying, pillows of happiness, that's why.

So anyhow, what is better than White Castle? White Castle breakfast that is what. As you all know, White Castle has not blessed our Upstate Homeland with a location (fie on the management. Wait.... I can't stay mad at you White Castle). You have to travel south of the stinking Tappen Zee to find a WC 'round these parts. So though I have heard stories and seen menus, I have never actually partaken. Last week, this changed. 

The first thing you need to do is get yourself a Barq's Red Cream soda (to prepare your innards for what is to come). The only exception I make for my strict no soda (except diet) policy is made for Barq's Red Cream. It is the corner stone of any healthy breakfast.

Look at it, LOOK AT IT! Are you attempting to lick up some crimson nectar through your computer screen? Well you can't, it just won't work and that is sad...

Next, you must stand with legs shoulder width, stick your thumbs in your belt, lean back and ponder the breakfast menu. There are many marvels to behold and you should devote some amount of thought to your decision. As for sliders, you must choose from bacon, sausage, bologna (yeah, you heard me), or burger (all with cheese and egg). I don't worry so much about the hash browns, they give me indigestion.

I went with a manly order of 2 slider uns' and 2 bologna uns' (in the manner of a boss). I didn't even make it to my car before I had to break out a burger and egg. Does it get much better than the steam-fried goodness of an all beef White Castle burger patty under a real fried egg and a wee slice of cheese? If it does, I just don't want to know about it.

Look below, as I said that is an actual griddle fried egg. As in, you can watch them crack the eggs and fry them up to order (if it is slow and they aren't holding them in a wee hotel pan, but we can forgive small transgressions as they have a lot of turnover).

Now if you don't have yourself a hairy pair, you need not read any further. Bologna, egg, and cheese White Castle sliders are not for those in possession of a weak constitution.

You get a thickish slice of fried bologna that endearingly flops over the side of the slider bun.

I really don't know if it is the burger/egg or bologna/egg combination that I enjoyed more. It has been a sort of internal war my mind has been waging against itself since I consumed these bits of ambrosia. I think it might be the burger ones, there is something very perfect about this White Castle offering.

In any event, I whole heartedly endorse White Castle as a breakfast destination. I only recommend that you eat heartily. 4 or 5 is the right number of breakfast sliders, any less and you are a wilting lilly. Too many more would be rather piggish I think.


  1. There is a White Castle in Nanuet. That is north of the TZ sir. Slightly.

    I should know. I was just there.

  2. Both of you, really are killing me. I live in Colorado now, no WC for hundreds of miles. I grew up with WC down south and really miss it. I get my fix from the frozen food section at Walmart or on travel. Sigh...

  3. Despite living many years in both Detroit and Chicago, where White Castle is seemingly on every corner, I'm ashamed to admit that I have never been there for breakfast. I've been there many times at 2 or 3 AM, but not late enough for them to roll out the breakfast menu.

    I read this while eating a bacon and egg bagel sandwich from DD, and now it doesn't feel as satisfying...

  4. Oh... White Castle... How I miss thee!


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