Thursday, November 14, 2013

Capital Region in Aspic. It Belongs in a Museum!

So, I have pretty much covered the whole "Upstate NY" indigenous food thing, I've done sausage/charcuterie making to death, and I honestly believe people would rather not here me blabber on about restaurants and fast food any more than I already have... So what is a mid-thirties, hack-blogging, overgrown man-child to post about these days on his little-viewed corner of the internet?...

Hot dogs suspended in beer-gelatin, that's what. My blog-title does have the words "ridiculous" and "food" in it. So I have decided to go full ridiculous with this post... As exemplified by my recent meatloafery, a personal interest in food products as objets d'art seems to be increasing. Someone also took the dangerous step of putting the concept of Jell-O molded foods into my head the other day on the tweeters. This is what happens when you put ideas into my low-functioning (I am using a lot of hyphens today. I am in a hyphen-y mood...) mind. 

Anyhow, here it is. My working title was "Albany in Aspic" but it occurred to me that the products used belong more to the Capital Region at large. So I am calling this "Capital Region in Aspic."

I needed to empty my can of v1.0 Stewart's Mountain Brew Ice so I could keep the can (a work of art in its own right) for posterity. I added a bit of water to the brew for clarity.

Then I took some gelatin and geltanized up that there Brew of the Mountains as per the gelatinizing instructions on the wee packages.

Then I took a single Hot Dog Charlie's dinky dog with the works (previously frozen)...

 ... and used the dark, meat-y, unspeakable magic of the true meat-warlock to suspend that little bad boy in the beer-gel!

Then I proceeded to take many, many pictures. Because it is beautiful. This was one of the rare times I wished that I hadn't committed to only utilizing my cellphone camera to take pictures for this hacky blog. This masterpiece deserves better. But we work with what we have.

I gingerly sliced my mold in half as to partake of the beauteous cross section.

The power, the glory.

I think I am going to use the photoshops to blank out the wall and hand and stuff and make t-shirts out of this image...

Anyhow, there you have it. I know I will have some people shaking heads as they become stupefied by this nonsense. But no matter! I believe in the beauty and wonder of a true Capital Region style mini-dog suspended in the most mountainy of brews.

What exemplifies us Capital Regioners more than one of our hot dogs suspended in one of the down and dirtiest of our beers! The products, the idea, the concept... This is us on a plate. I am in love with my own creation. I need to stop now.

I will leave you alone with this. Enjoy.


  1. Oh dear God.

    I can't believe that I'm going to say this, but I think you should make another one. This time though, can you put it in a rectangular mold and cut the pieces crosswise?

    Maybe I'm wrong, but I think there will be an added beauty from the symmetry of the slices.

    And why stop here? There are cider donuts in cider aspic. Fish Fry sandwiches in Altamont winery jelly. You could even put a McCarrolls egg and cheese sandwich in a bloody mary aspic made with Core Vodka.

    Yours is truly inspiring stuff. Looking forward to more.

  2. The big question: did you actually eat it?

    1. Yes, I second that notion. And will also note that if you did, you probably took no less than five calendar days off the longevity of your life.

    2. Here is the deal. I was pouring out the Mountain Brew to preserve the can for posterity, and I had an order of Hot Dog Charlie's that I really couldn't finish. Reheated hot dogs are not my cup of chai, so that is where this idea was born.

      I was going to "waste" the beer/hot dog anyhow so I wanted to at least pay tribute.

      On the subject of eating, I couldn't. I tried but I gagged. Then I tried heating it a little to make it palatable and the gelatin melted making it grosser...

      Alas, I could not eat it.

    3. Whew...Well, I'm glad for your sake you didn't. Especially the beer. That stuff is a game-ender.

  3. I am utterly happy right now.

  4. I have only one thought. You have WAY too much free time.

  5. Eric Stott here....I am both awestruck and horrified.....and kinda hungry

  6. An order of magnitude beyond Tony Packo's autographed buns...


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