Wednesday, December 10, 2014

The Math of Small Hot Dogs. (1/19/2014)

I am pretty schizophrenic with my blogging habits. I think I have had 3 or 4 over the past few years. I have decided to consolidate some posts from the other rando blogs I've penned lately for my own easy reference. Hope you don't mind. This one is from 1/19/2014 on my short-lived "MrDave" vanity blog...

So this morning I took my munchkins to see Frozen (3rd time for them, 1st for me) at Regal Cinemas in Colonie Center. As you may or may not know, I am something of an avid hot dog-ologist with a specialization in the Capital Region style mini-hot dog. During the inevitable trip to the theater concession stand I spied something that would pique the interest of any hot dog connoisseur.

Available for purchase was a Nathan's "hot dog slider" combo. Eating hot dogs during a morning matinee is not a usual practice of mine but I decided to give the things a whirl out of sheer curiosity. 

Pictured above is what you get. I can't really pick nits by holding these "hot dog sliders" up against our indigenous small hot dogs as the Regal product is nationally marketed and not a real analogue. But I will say that the hot dogs are too fat, the buns are weird, and a "slider" is a burger. I don't usually care about these sorts of semantics but the White Castle slider is such a divine form that the term "slider" should not be used so lightly.

Now on to the biggest problem I have with this particular order of dinky dogs... There are 4 of them. Everybody knows that small hot dogs should be ordered in multiples of 3 (6 is probably optimal, but I have done 9. Don't judge me)! This is an item of food numerology that should not be meddled with lest the tides stop or brimstone eruptions begin. Ordering 4 small hot dogs is like ordering 1 and a half sandwiches or 2/3 of a pizza. It is just not done. I believe it is something to do with the fact that 3 of our local dinky dogs has something of the same impact on your gullet as one full-size hot dog.Anyhow, that is my bit of OCD/slightly disturbed rambling for the day.

Has anyone else seen Frozen? I thought it was great but I propose that Olaf was to Frozen as Jar Jar Binks was to The Phantom Menace. That is to say -- an unnecessary bit of hokey comic relief. Disney should have stuck with Sven the reindeer for the laughs I thinks.  Other than that it was the best Disney production in my living memory.

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