Thursday, February 11, 2016

Ozymandihash. (Empire State Plazago Delenda Est)

Yesterday I recreated elements (The Egg and the Corning Tower) of the Empire State Plaza in meat and eggs. Today I destroyed and consumed them.

I have been reading the wonderful 98 Acres in Albany page that documents what was lost when Rocky erased the heart of the City of Albany to build the ESP. So I am going to turn this plate of hash into a metaphor of sorts. I'll explain.

Due to the Plaza's 50th anniversary it seems to have become fashionable among a certain set to point out all of the ESP's supposed good qualities. You will see dewey sunset pictures of the reflecting pool on folk's facebooks and they will say things like, "the architecture is actually really beautiful" while giving you a face that supposes you are not ready to be in on the secret. I call them ESP apologists. They are idiots.

The Empire State Plaza is horrible. It is a hideous concrete headstone over the grave of a city. Rockefeller stole the future of Albany when he built it. So I say tear it down. Tear it all down. Move the workers to the Harriman complex and let life creep into those acres again. Let this monument to Nelson Rockefeller's odd fancy sink beneath the sands of time. Stranger and more expensive things have been done.

So perhaps my Scotch "The Egg" and "Corninged Beef Tower" are totems. I ritually constructed these monuments from meat, ritually destroyed them, and now I have eaten them. This seems like some manner of witchdoctor voodoo. Perhaps I have set in motion an avalanche of mystical juju that will eventually lead to the Plaza being reborn as a neighborhood.

This is all, of course, nonsense. But futile wishes are wishes none the less. I'm sure Cato never thought that Carthage would be erased when he ended all of his speeches, "Carthago delenda est."

So, Empire State Plazago delenda est.

(Well, not really "destroyed." But I don't know how to say "miracle into existence billions of dollars and transfer the workers to new offices elsewhere then bulldoze the place" in Latin.)

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