Sunday, October 16, 2016

Found Grocery List #5: Oven Cleaner and Fish Fresh

Found another grocery list over at the Slingerlands P-Chops. Not a very thrilling list (certainly not as interesting as the "Blonoga" list), but still a rather nice example.

Here we have.

Oven Cleaner (check)
blueberries  --- strawberries
Cottage cheese
diet bread
fish fresh

So what can we surmise about the author of this list? "Diet Bread" is a sort of dated term so I'm assuming an elderly person. The penmanship is a bit ambiguous, but I am leaning towards female. The list speaks of a healthy diet, but in a very 1970s kind of way.

The oven cleaner is a bit interesting. Who uses oven cleaner anymore? I don't believe I've ever cleaned an oven with oven cleaner... What sort of person keeps such a fastidious diet, and also needs a particularly clean oven? - Serial killer. The oven cleaner is for spraying in victim's eyes. Perhaps for cleaning the DNA evidence out of the oven after roasting people pieces.

The list concludes with "fish fresh." The word inversion is obviously the result of this cottage cheese fueled killer's crumbling sanity. The author kept it together all the way to "diet bread," but could go no further.

You will have to excuse me. It is the Halloween season so I indulged myself in a little horror movie speculation while interpreting this grocery list.

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