Thursday, August 2, 2018

1970s Hometown Cookbook: Dave Cooks All the Recipes. Part 2: Amending the Bylaws


Recipe Count: 1 of 156 Complete

So, you may be thinking. "Wow, a recipe down already? That was quick." No food has hit a pan yet so perhaps I should explain. 

In Part 1 I came up with 5 simple rules for my recipe journey. Here they are.


1) Cook all the recipes.
2) Minimize waste by reducing recipe proportions.
3) No substitutions.
4) Provide informative commentary along the way.
5) There is no time limit. This journey could take me well into my 40s (I'm 38).


While perusing the book for my inaugural recipe it became apparent that my list of rules would have to be a living document... "Spanish Fillet of Flounder" was the catalyst for this.



Rule Number 1: "Cook all the recipes" is hereby amended to "Cook all the recipes unless they are a crime against humanity."

Flounder slowly mouldering on top of a bed of spinach, asparagus, and bananas in a 275 degree oven is a war crime. I cannot in good conscience prepare this in my household. The thought of the
oxidizing bananas and pale flabby flounder. All under a gummy bechamel... A festival of reeking beige flecked with green asparagus and spinach. The smell. Oh god, think of the smell.

Rule Number 2: "Minimize waste by reducing recipe proportions" is hereby amended to "Minimize waste by reducing recipe proportions to 0 if the recipe constitutes a Rule 1 violation."

Self explanatory. I abhor waste. Conscience will likewise not allow me to knowingly prepare something that will be binned immediately.

Rule Number 4: "Provide informative commentary along the way" is hereby amended to include Section 1: "Under a Rule Number 1 violation 'Providing informative commentary along the way' shall suffice in lieu of physical recipe completion." 

"Informative commentary" is understood to have a very loose definition in the court of Dave's mind.

Here are the amended rules.

Rule Number 1) Cook all the recipes unless they are a crime against humanity.
Rule Number 2) Minimize waste by reducing recipe proportions to 0 if the recipe constitutes a Rule 1 violation.
Rule Number 3) No substitutions.
Rule Number 4) Provide informative commentary along the way.
         Section 1: Under a Rule Number 1 violation 'Providing informative commentary along the way' shall suffice in lieu of physical recipe completion.
Rule Number 5) There is no time limit. 

Do not think I have taken these amendments lightly. I have struggled against my urge to stand in the purifying flame of banana and fish for the integrity of my recipe journey. But conscience and good sense scream for a less zealous interpretation of my original rules.  

A corporeal recipe to follow soon.


1 comment:

  1. I like to set my goals to be achievable, so I would set a rule to do 50 recipes or something like that. 156 just seems achievable to me - even with the new rule #2. Looking forward to seeing how you do!

    ReplyDelete

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